BENEATH THE SMILE OF THE AFRICAN WOMAN
The secret in the skin of the African woman is that of great
responsibility. There are women and there are women. Most contemporary “go
getta” kind of women refer to their partners as honey, sweetheart, baby and boo
(as I hear these days). Women who choose to go the traditional way call their
husbands efo, nnai, alhaji and the list goes on. But what is undeniable in the
hearts of all these women is the love embedded in it. Married or single, women
with melanin in her skin go into every relationship with great expectations. I
open my eyes wide with rage when men look me in the eye and tell me all women
want money and are cheap, (I find that rather disrespectful and demeaning on
our famine sect). Then I am tempted to say, all men cheat, lie, are greedy and
ill mannered. There is no denying the fact that every one of us was so madly in
love with our first love, proving the real us in the world of this fantasy
called love. But what makes a relationship turn sour is how we are and were
treated in our relationships.
Most women who are cheated on try so hard to adjust and move
on with their lives, but what men fail to realize is that, most women fail to
love because they are scared of a heart break. Now, this is our little secret,
we love with all our hearts, but most often we pretend not to be touched because we don’t want to be hurt. You
know that feeling when a woman smiles to a man, giving the impression that the
woman is flirty. But hey, a woman’s smile is like a tickle in the head saying
“who the hell is this guy”, an assessment of who the man is, but we want to
seem nice and energetic when we stretch the hand to say “hello, my name is Ann
and i just want to be friends”. All hell breaks loose when a contact number is
taken, (men never cease to amaze us though), then he starts visualizing really
unimaginable stuff. In Africa today, it gets so creepy when the woman finds the
courage to establish friendship with a man especially when she finds him really
interesting to be with.
Now there are three weird rules to appreciating the smile of
a woman. Before you genuinely appreciate that smile, you might want to ‘see a
man in a woman’. She’s not always weak, apologetic and needy as you are trained
to think in your society. If you mistaken her smile for “I love you”, then you
are going to rue ever having that perception. Because trust me, she’s going to
genuinely appreciate your efforts to please her as a Father Christmas would do.
Rule number two, before you return that smile, don’t give
her that ‘head to toe’ look as if she was standing in front of the Kwame
Nkruman circle chewing a bubble gum with that infuriating sounds coming from
between her teeth. Regardless of her appearance, you give an impression of
yourself as that gentleman who wants a one night stand. That is when you start
disrespecting all women when a lady cheats on you. It’s your behavior dear. The
moment that ‘hi’ is returned with a smile, then your merry making fantasy is
certainly going to be short-lived as it should be.
The greatest rule is, never disrespect a woman because of
that tiny little smile, because you might just be earning a warrant to
doomsday. Some men are condescending, egoistic and fussy they may want to take
us back to the 1st century where they were feared and worshiped. For
the guys, I know that’s not who you are, you just want to earn respect. But it’s
not worth the trouble; women appreciate men who respect them. I read the
headlines and I see stories such as “Farmer 30, Murders Husband” and i used to wonder
if they were ever in love. The fact is, they did love each other, but it just
takes a little respect from both sides to make it work.
So next time the lady gives you that hearty smile, it
doesn’t mean much; it means “Who are you”. Think twice before you make any
wrong move.
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